Neglect Is My Life
There are many trials in life that one must go though, and everybody deals with things differently. Some write, some fight. Everyone in my family seemed to drown their problems with alcohol.
As a six year old, I didn’t’ see the problems that my family faced. My world was big and full of wonder in the eyes of a curious little boy, but having alcoholic parents made my world a lot smaller. I could never put into words how scared, embarrassed and annoyed I was at their drinking.
I learned quickly to figure out what my parents were thinking and feeling. I needed to know what I was coming home to. At some point, my parents split. I stayed with my dad most of the time because my mom’s drinking was really bad.
One time though, my dad left me and my friend on a Friday night to go out and didn’t come home. We went to my friend’s house; I remember his mom was real nice about it. My dad didn’t come home till late Saturday; he didn’t leave me any money or anything. He came to pick me up at my friend’s house and I knew he was hung over. He didn’t talk at all on the ride home and he went right up to bed as soon as we got home. The next morning he acted like nothing had happened. The thing he really forgot about though was that day was my birthday – he never even mentioned it.
Daniel
January 9th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Daniel, how sad that you had to grow up like that…most people think about the really horrible things that happens in families like people getting beat up and stuff like that but being forgotten is horrible too. And not just for kids for anyone any age.
February 1st, 2008 at 1:11 am
Hey man, sorry that happened to you. I know how you feel though. My mom did the same thing. She would take off for days, weeks, and sometimes months. Then they come back and they pretend like nothing happened and that is the worst part! My dad worked far away so he did not come home much and thats when my mom would take off. She drank and did drugs a lot too so when she was around it sucked just as much. I had no one and when you are young you don’t know what to do. It sucks to have nobody and it never leaves you. My parents got a divorce and I live with my dad who came back to his other job. I don’t have a relationship with my parents, I don’t know if you do. Did you ever patch it up? I merely exist.
March 8th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Daniel, wow what a powerful example of what alcoholism can do to a family. My mom left me for days also, no food, no phone. My dad was always nodding out, it was so frustrating. I also know what its like to have your parents act like theres nothing wrong. I never had a chance to let them know how their behavior made me feel, I never vented. It was always because I was just so relieved to see my mom walk through the door after a 4 day binge, she’s alive, my God Id be so happy to see her. It never meant anything to her, she didn’t miss me or even seem the least bit concerned of the worry she caused. I just stayed silent, scared to death to lose control of my feelings. My parents were never quite able to give me what I needed. Wow, that feels good to get some of that garbage out, its been a long tome since I shared some of this stuff. Thank you.
June 7th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Kelly, your last sentence is so powerful…read it aloud to yourself. I hope you can get this stuff out on a more regular basis, you deserve to feel good. I joined Alateen about a year ago and it’s made a big difference for me to have people who know what the hell I;m talking about, listen to me. I wish I would have done this long ago but I didn’t really know much about all these different AA kinds of groups - they really do work.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
daniel, hey you smart person, I was a mom that did that kind of thing to my oldest son.I am now been sober for one year.AA meeting have changed my life.My son will be 18 in a few months and i am working on rebuilding a relationship. Rough at times but it is worth it i wasnt always there while useing but i am now.I am glad to get a second chance.I hope the same for you and your family.AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!
October 31st, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I am seaching for some idea to write in my blog… somehow come to your blog. best of luck. Eugene
November 25th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
The good news Daniel; is that parents are more aware that help is available now; more than when I was a child going through similar experience as the one you shared. It is unfortunate that many children today suffer some form of neglect or another that the ones who are suppose to protect end up being the ones to fear and take cover. The love one feels for our parent/s gets convoluted with the pain and suffering and helplessness/hopelessness felt. We survive the best way we can and the opportunity when it presents itself to talk about our past; little by little breaks down the protective barriers that served to shield us from what was experience early in life. Some are resilience to overcome, but something remains that does not quite leaves you, but once in a while surfaces as a reminder of past hurt.
April 16th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Both of my parents have had a severe drinking problem since i was ten. I spent a year sleeping in the park or at the bar. I thought they hated me because they were always angry. My mom was obnoxious, but my dad just liked to fight. One night I was in the park across the street and my dad came out of the bar covered in blood. I was so afraid i did not even ask what happened. I just tried to melt into the background. I was thirteen that year. He never took another drink after that, but he left to race horses at the end of the week and I saw him once every couple of months. My mom just drank more and more until one day she left too. My sister and I are 1 year apart. We stayed by ourselves for almost a year. Then they came back. Drank some more and pretended nothing was wrong. I’m glad i found some place that i could post that. It feels good to tell the truth for once. Thank You and good luck