Missed My Childhood to Play Parent
My parents would fight almost every day when I was little. I was afraid of my dad because he drank a lot. I never knew what he would do to my mom or me or my sisters. I always felt like he might hit her or one of us. On those few occasions when he did actually hit one of us kids, I would tell myself we deserved it because we had done something wrong.
I was young so I really had no clue what was going on with him. I just knew he would come home drunk every day, fight with my mom and ruin everything. I always tried to keep the other kids out of the way. I would make dinner for them and then take them upstairs to do homework – out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. The fighting would go on until he eventually fell asleep. I would hear my mom on the phone with her sister afterwards, she would cry and swear she was going to leave him, but she never did.
In the morning, the house would be very quiet. My mom didn’t get out of bed so I would have to make breakfast, pack lunches and get everybody out the door on time. All this while trying really hard not to wake up either my mom or dad. This went on for years. My dad never did quit drinking and my mom never left him.
When I grew up, a friend convinced me to go to an Ala-non meeting. I really didn’t want to go and didn’t think I needed to talk about any of this because my dad was no longer around. Boy was I wrong, I had a lot to say and a lot of feelings about my having to pick up the slack for my parents. It really did help simply to tell someone else my story.
Anonymous, Ohio
May 1st, 2008 at 7:11 am
A very sad story and one that I can truly empathize with. I was about ten years old the first time I called the cops as a result of my father beating my mother while he was drunk. It’s sad to say but I was so happy when they took him away because it meant I could finally go to sleep. Sometimes they would fight until two or three in the morning even on a school night. I felt the need to protect her, so I would stay at her side while he yelled and screamed all night long.
Nonetheless, I would get up early to pack my brother’s lunches and make breakfast so that we could all get out of the house before they woke. To this day, I still truly appreciate the peace and tranquility I feel during an early quiet morning. I also make it a point to go to bed exactly when I feel tired. I’ll never be forced to stay awake again.
She never left him either. She had every excuse in the book such as not knowing where to go with four kids, or not having a job, or a solid education. I think that they both were addicted to eachother in a very unhealthy way.
I practically raised my two younger brothers and was responsible for so much at such a young age. I don’t really have many good childhood memories but at least now I can talk about. I’m glad that you shared your story too.
June 28th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
my parents are the same too.
my mom cries and we cry i make and do things to.its hard because my sis drinks and smokes, my older sis does to and even my lil bro whos like 13. i hate i don’t do anything and hate that i live with it.
and the next day my dad would call my mom and says that he loves her and not remeber anything